I remember you, in those first days.
I could see the need in those days.
I could smell it, taste it.
It nourished me.
I have starved for you.
I would starve for you forevermore.
You are no longer in need.
You are strong, mindful, and moral.
I'm so proud.
She has your hair.
She has your eyes.
She has your heart.
She has your mind.
She has your old problems, only worse.
I am so hungry.
She has not your strength.
She still has your problem, only worse.
Both mothers, broken like glass, cut their children deeply as they grew in the cage of sharp edges.
I know you once cut, it gave you control.
I have not looked to see if she has the scars.
Her words bear her injury, or more their absence.
I could fix her.
I feel it.
I want it.
I am so hungry of purpose.
I thought my meals few and far between and out of fidelity closed my eyes.
But I have glipsed.
My old purpose gleams like a flower frosted with dew.
Am I pig enough to eat it?
To leave my now purpose and return to my older, and truer.
It is wrong of me to harbour such thoughts. I am commited, promised even.
That ring is still wrapped about your finger,
but am I still rapt with you?
It is wrong of me not to help her if I can.
I love you. No buts.
... but I have fixed you.
Who will fix her?
Were there more of me she would be fixed already.
Another would have saved me this rending inner conflict.
But rended I am not! I am calm! Complacent!
I have accepted my failure already!
I can't help without hurting.
I would never do anything to hurt you,
I've said that more than once and I meant it.
I mean it.
I mean it still.
Is it moral of me to stay?
Is it moral of me to leave?
Would she have me if she knew why I left?
Will you have me if this is why I've stayed?
Of course you will. That is how I've trained you.
I've trained you to be like me.
I would have you no matter how many mistakes you had or would make.
I love you.
But should I?
So much distance between us, with problems of yours I cannot fix.
So little distance to a problem I have experience in fixing.
Just a few steps down the hall.
Just a few steps 'till she's better off.
'till I'm morally fed.
Self actualization is actually a self destructive desire.
Though if I stay I am building toward nothing.
Am I happy?
Are you happy?
Is she happy?
Am I broken because I want to fix her?
Will you be broken if I leave?
Am I broken only while you're fixed?
Am I fixed only while someone is broken?
I don't want to break up.
But I want to fix her up.
I want to just be friends with her, but I'm scared I can't make light conversation with a moral feast while I lay starving.
How do I fix this?
